you are... the only exception.

Pasai pa ceq letak judul tu?

Because my heart sang that song.

Abaikan judul entri  ini.

...

Four months to go and

I'll become as 20 years old young lady.

Why do I feel old?

...

I want  to share a little bit advice to those who are seeking for a good vibes in you.

Take it, or leave it. Okay?

Okay.

Back when you're little, you wish to not grow old;

because solving problem is hard and having fun is... well... fun.

You're starting to afraid of growing up, because your friend(s) might change. (especially, their/him/her personalities).

As you are growing old,

your parents are growing old too.

I've seen some friends of mine grew up as successful people, based on their childhood and family background.

Damn, jealousy killed me.

After awhile, I didn't feel the same way.

In fact, I learn from it.

I said to my friends,

"I wish I could go back in time and did not do several things that lead to sins; but if I didn't learn from my mistakes, I would not be a better person now."

"Different people in different means.
Different means in different time.
Kun fayakun."

Don't say that you understand how people live in sorrows unless you once felt in their shoes.
Don't even think that you are superior in knowledge than others who don't have the same level of intelligence quotient as yours.

Put down your ego.

Take this empathy with you.

New generation is coming.

A wise lecturer of mine once said,

"Moral can be caught, but not taught."

ani ohevet otcha

End of the first year of Diploma in Early Childhood Education is near.

Accompanied by my housemates/course-mates/roomates,

Afifah & Melissa.

pejam celik.

I'm trying my best to be that

"hey, look at Syafiah! She has a great goal and she managed to do it well!" kind of person.

I'm getting there.

I'm not that sort of person, who knows how to give up that easily.

When I fall,

I stand on my own bare feet (not literally).

That's why I have them (feet).

To stand - proudly.

To sum up everything,

I just want to make my family happy.

I just want to make them proud of me because I never seen them proud of me in any achievements that I made.

I know I did ridiculous things beyond my past;

which I regret.

Pity me.

Assalamualaikum.

bitter heart

I wish I wasn't a liar.

I wish I was nice.

I wish I knew my heart.

I wish I was loyal to Allah.

I wish my heart wasn't fragile.

………………………

Those were the days.

My past.

from Beijing to Malaysia.

I messed up a lot.

I wished I didn't;

but my friend once told me,

"Be grateful of your pasts.

Without them,

you won't have the efforts and

tarbiyyah to put into yourself every now and then."

I found love.

Love is when someone died before you.

You're willing to give her a bath.

Shroud her.

Keep your tears away from her.

Keep her name in your dua's.

Buried her.

Remember her, always.

Yes, I found love.

Thank you, my dearest late grandmother.

May Allah blesses you.

Loom.

23rd May 2014.
Friday.
I went to Aimi's house.
I've met her mother and her.
At the same time, I was checking her father's condition.

Her mother taught me how to loom.
Surprisingly, I began to occupied myself by looming.
I threw away my sadness,
and I brought back my happiness.

Now I know how it feels like to accept faith.
I missed my grandmother so much
that it made me forgotten about how beautiful life is
to have someone else's by our side.

Sometimes, I need someone to talk,
just to forget how hurtful I was before.

Thank you, everyone.

11th April 1935 - 8th May 2014.

From midnight to 4 a.m.

I couldn't sleep.

Something was bothering me.

My heart kept reminding me about death.

I mean, I always remind myself about it;

but never at those late hours.

It was almost 5 in the morning,

I finally got to sleep.

Around 6.30 a.m.,

I woke up for Fajr prayer.

Yes, I've spent an hour and a half to sleep.

You can imagine how tiring I was in the early morning.

After I finished my prayer,

I went to bed.

I thought I might get my beauty sleep,

but things didn't go well than what I've expected.

My mom woke me up from my sleep.

I looked at her eyes.

She was crying.

With her shaky voice, she said;

"Opah Lenggong meninggal dunia."

(your grandmother just passed away.)

I was speechless and quickly urge to my brother and woke him up.

I told him about what just happened.

He gasped and went off to get ready to visit grandmother.

Long story short,
I never cried in public;
but looking at her face for the last time,
I couldn't control my emotions.

my heart said, "akhirnya aku menangis jua."
(finally, I cried.)

No, I didn't cry in front of her.
That would be rude.
So, I kept my distance from her when I needed to cry.

Opah means a lot to me.
She always thought that I will become 'Ustazah'.
She believed in me, even though I failed many times.

words.

" Watch your thought because it becomes your words. 

Watch your words because it becomes your action. 

Watch your action because it becomes your habit. 

Watch your habit because it becomes your character."

-cousin, January 30th 2014-

say something.

The thing about love is that it has many degrees; thus, many ways of saying it.