almost there.

The year of 2015 is almost ended and I can't wait for the year of 2016 to come.

Long story short,
I will end my diploma in 2016.

...

I remember a friend of mine came to my house and we had a sweet and short conversation over tea.
She told me that she wanted to be like me which I was confounded at first glance.
She shared some of her stories about her life experienced throughout the year that she had spent with her so called friends.

The most interesting words that she said to me were,
"kan senang jadi macam kau. kawan tak ramai dan tak menyusahkan kau."

...

I have trust issues.
I have tons of acquaintances, but I have fewer friends that I trust.
Sometimes, people take advantages on me when I'm being too sincere in helping them.
When it comes to that limit, I get pissed off.

My life was never about friends with fortune and living in a luxurious life.
My life is about understanding the hardships that they had been through in their daily lives.
I gained experience and put myself in their shoes.
I helped them through thick and thin;
and they did the same thing to me as well.

I love to talk about myself rather than talk about someone behind their back,
but if I did... I talk about good things about them.

Some people thought that I love to gloat about myself;
but what they don't know is that I try my best to avoid gossips about someone.
If I did, then I'm deeply sorry for my misbehavior.

I hope to see the best in my friends in the future.
Although some of them rarely talk to me,
but I never forget about each one of them in my life.
My hands are wide open for them to seek for help because I trust them;
and when I trust them, it will be a heartbreaking if they break my trust.

all this time...

[8/27, 11:13 PM]

"Macam mana kita boleh bercinta?"

"We accept both of our flaws and see the inner beauty."

reminiscence.

She used her lust to gain her love.

He used his love to gain his lust.

In the end, no one was satisfied.

deafening silence.

Unexpected is a gift.

When I looked into his eyes,

I felt love.

...

"maybe she wasn't loved widely, but she was loved deeply."
-Augustus Waters-

...

These women who dare to dream to live "happily ever after",
will they dare themselves to predict what will happen next?

Do they have a clue of what they have done?

Do I have a clue?

hm.

you.

your words.

your appearance.

your perfection.

your inspiration.

those are arts.

bicara ku seorang diri.

I had a lot on my plate.

I felt like I was working,

but actually I was learning.

Assignments that were given to us

are like worksheets that need to be due to the ministers.

I had to run one place to another just to make several appointments,

I ran out of cash just to pass some assignments

and probably ran out of voice to communicate with several important people.

...

I'm easily piss off to people who work with me,

but don't know how to work,

people that know how to complaint and don't know how to solve
and

people who expect that I have the answers for every solutions.

...

Through what I observed and experienced as a 20 years old student,

I realized that some people who achieved their careers may have lose their sincerity in the work they do.

PROFESSIONALISM.

Even though you work as a kindergarten teacher, a principal or whatever that contribute your skills and knowledges to others,

you must have a heart to share it.

Not only to seek for money, but having to know that you actually do something that you love.

Who knows and only Allah knows that maybe little things that you do,

might probably make a big different in the future.

...

Yes, I know.

I'm not someone that you should believe in.

I'm not even a jurist.

I'm not even someone that you can trust.

I'm just a person who typed out what I've been experiencing.

Probably worse because of my grammar mistakes.

Anyway, I wish everyone the best of luck in the future.

My dad once said,

"Buat sesuatu dengan ikhlas, jangan harapkan balasan."

...

"I'm not the person who has the most knowledge,

but I try to make the most of the little tiny knowledge that I have."

-Catatan Matluthfi-

"When you grow up, your heart dies."

-Allison Reynolds-

"We struggle to be honest like children because

while they speak their hearts out, we are still looking for ours."

-Matluthfi-

I miss childhood.

On 16th February 2015,
my lecturer thought us how to play.
We actually learned the meaning of words happiness, fun, new experiences, some core benefits of physical development & so forth.

My classmates and I have given an opportunity to make a hopscotch course
that can be conveniently assembled
and laid out on a house tiled-surface area of a corridor.

Hence, we played "telur busuk" & "galah panjang" early in the morning.

During my childhood, young children set up the rules for themselves to play freely
& enjoy it with the one they love;
such as friends, family & et cetera.

They love to explore & observe young adults during their playtime.
Therefore, through what they have seen & learned,
they improvised an appropriate game for them to play.

Nowadays, children are not familiar with these games because they have exposed themselves with digital games.
I hope adults from the old generation help children to build up
their physical, cognitive, language, emotional & social development through play.

JELITA.

Year 2 Semester 1,

I think it's a fresh start for my colleagues and I to achieve our goals together.

…

"Kamu kalau nak belajar,
kena ajak rakan-rakan sekali,
barulah berjaya bersama-sama."

-Catatan Matluthfi-

…

We're planning to organise a fundraising.

It's actually an assignment for the CO-Curriculum subject;

but somehow it became as an upcoming great event for us.

I felt overwhelm
to see my classmates participate and not one of us get isolated.