setia

Hurting yourself is worse than hurting people around you.
It brings impact to everyone.
The thing about you before and now is unique.

Allah loves you so much that He puts your aib hidden from the people that you love the most,
because Allah knows what is the best for you and that you have repented upon Him.
Allah knows you have changed for the sake of Him.
Even though you always stumble and fall,
but you never give up on repenting.

...

My lips are sealed when it comes to my deepest past.

I had a rough life.
A bad life.
A horrified life as well.

No one knew, but me.

I used to be an optimistic.

Yes, I miss it too.

One thing that people didn't know about me was...
I cried a lot.

When I'm alone, I cried.
When I'm in panic, I cried.
When I hurt someone's feelings, I cried.

Only... I never showed it in front of anyone.

Yes, this is my confession.

Please, do not ask me of why did I cry,
because it's not your fault.

I cried because I have comitted sins.
I cried because I'm a worthless human being.

Yes, I cried a lot.
And when I do,
I seek for The Almighty.
Not you.
I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.
It's just me.
Trying my best to be a worthy Muslim.
Biiznillah. Barakallahu fik.