Brief Candle

21.7.2016 - (7.55 p.m.)

3 months ago:

An anonymous bought a red velvet cake for my birthday and I was so surprised that it made me question.

...

3 months later:

A friend of mine told me that they bought the cake. they were willing to collect money & buy it for me.

...

I was touched by it because never have I been so grateful to have friends like them

and I will never know how much they have been grateful to have me in their lives.

Even if I have ever been a friend to them for a split second.

Kindy Teacher Diary #6

I had 3 autism students in school

and I managed to handle 2 of them except for this 1.

I've realized that some teachers just let them do whatever they wanted to do as long as they stopped crying for some petty reasons.

Nonetheless, the teachers always reach their hands out for those students when they needed it.

..

I admit it.

I was struggling for not knowing how to engage with them at first.

I was struggling to identify the signs.

I thought that talking nicely was one of the ways to bring closure;

but, they're just kids.

Big words or long sentences won't make them feel secured in any ways.

...

They amazed me which made me feel like I wanted to know more about them.

So, I observed them for about 2 months and honestly, kids love to cry.

Especially them.

...

I bet you can tell it from here that everyday I've been through the same phase and I didn't even complaint;

because whenever they cried,

I knew that they needed somebody to be there for them.

...

Basically, autism kids needed a lot of attention.

They couldn't stand the crowd,

the noise and a lot instructions that were given by us.

The first thing I did when I saw them cried,

I called them and gave them a hug.

I knew that they needed someone to open up for them.

Just like us - adults.

Except, children are so honest of what their heart speaks,
while we're struggling to find ours.

Kindy Teacher Diary #5

I met this boy.
He's timid and only talked to people that he knew.
Believe me, I tried many things to win his trust.

...

The first thing that caught his attention was I helped him to solve the Binomial Cube and the Trinomial Cube.
This boy was pretty amazing.
He's intelligence was superb and understood things clearly.
Sadly, some people didn't try their best to help him assess on his capabilities to the point that he almost forgotten how to do additions by using place value of tens and hundreds.
Not only that, he has forgotten how to speak in Malay.

...

Almost everyday, I spent my time talking with him.
I tried to understand him better and even tried to know his background.
Not only him, but everyone in the school.

...

All this time I thought my duty was to understand my classmate, but actually I've forgotten that my duty was also to understand others as well.

...

"innamal a'malu binniyat" (sesungguhnya setiap amal itu disertai dengan niat)

...

Hazman: wahidun, one. isnaani, two. sa... em... em... 

Me: EM? 

Hazman: em... 

Me: em em  salasatun, three.

Hazman: salasa...tun... three. 

Kindy Teacher Diary #4

86 students from the age of 3 to 6 years old.

...

Every morning, most of them cried when they reached to school. 

I tried to reach my hands out, but they ignored and pushed me away many times as they wanted.

I didn't give up at all.

I stood there and watched them cry.

When they had enough of it and finally put their guard down, again, I reached my hands out to them and said

"Come here and hug me. It's okay to cry sometimes. I'm here. Everything's going to be okay."

At the end of the day, they ran to me, hugged me and cried as much as they wanted
because they needed someone to reach them out
while they were struggling to put out words into sentences
and to tell us what they wanted all this time.

...

5th August 2016

"Hari terakhir di sekolah. 

Ada yang menangis teruk, tidak mahu balik dan berkeras hati mahu aku ikut balik sekali. 

Ada yang boleh terima hakikat.Ada yang menahan ego. 

Ada yang menangis, bila aku dukung, lantas dia memelukku dan tertidur dalam dakapanku."

...

Honestly, they changed me and I'm grateful of that.

Kindy Teacher Diary #3

5th August 2016, a 5 year old boy just asked a permission from me, "can I fart?".

The environment was noisy and I thought I heard the boy asked "Can I go to pee?" or "Can I fight?".
I was confounded and abstruse when I almost heard the word "fart".

I hesitatingly nodded.
Then he went to somewhere quiet which was the hallway and came back with a smile on his face.

So yeah, he just farted.
Not only that, he just asked a permission to do so.

...

It was... I don't how to explain this feeling anyway.

Kindy Teacher Diary #2

We were having our assembly and a boy named Ayish came to me.

He showed me his nail.

There was something stuck at the tip of his nail.

I held his hand and brought him to the kitchen which no one was there but us.
I told him to look away and we had a conversation about how was his day.
While he was looking away,
I pulled out my pin from my headscarf and tried to remove something at the nail.
Finally, I helped him to remove it.
So yeah, that's just about it.
Anyway, its not important.
Just wanted to share my moment with you.
...
Bottom line, you must always be prepared. Badum tss ~

Kindy Teacher Diary #1

Shafiq 6 y/o: I think you're the most perfect teacher. you know how to draw, dance and make flowers (making crafts) and macam-macam lah.

Me: Aw, thank you.
...
Sometimes, we feel down about our flaws and we intend to forget that we are more than that.
It takes a person to tell you that you are more than that.
Someone who can inspired you for a lifetime.
As for me, my students inspired me a lot.
Barakallahu fik.